So I’m 40, and what strikes me about aging is just the degree of discipline I’ve developed over the years/decades. This always seems to be a forgotten advantage of getting older: the increasing level of self-control. Learning a new skill might be harder, but picking up a new habit is easier. This is coupled with more regulated moods and accumulated wisdom in planning one’s activity and thinking.
Having kids puts that virtue to the test. As a father, your job is to impose that discipline and self-control over people teeming with energy and turbulence. If you’re too young, you’ll likely crack and run away. But with this honed fortitude pushing back against the chaos, you can get that yin-yang balance of healthy family life.
At 72 years old, I am more fit than I was at 30, and just as sharp cognitively. Of course, when I was 30, I was a slovenly layabout living on coffee cake.
This is why holing up young people in Universities until their mid twenties is a travesty. If academia is for you, great, but everyone else should be starting their career at 20.
At 60, I was forty-fifty pounds overweight, got out-of-breath walking upstairs, and spent weeks in a walking boot because of plantar fasciitis - but I could still out-code my younger peers. At 68, I've lost forty pounds, my walking pace is generally under 16 minutes per mile, I biked 160 miles in two days in the Poconos, and I am still able to out-code my younger peers.
Decline is not necessary to such an extent, but you have to take charge of our fitness in ways that you didn't need to when you were much younger.
I think so - in that I know more strategies for good code now. Of course, at 25, I was coding in assembly, and counting bytes to make sure everything would fit on a 1K ROM. I haven't had to do that in a long time.
My dad lived to 90. He almost made it to 91. He was an avid reader. He had a sharp mind despite the fact the rest of his body was failing him. One of the last books he read was a book on basic physics. He loved that book. I can hear him now calling my name, “Annette, this book is amazing!” Dad taught me, don’t stop learning, push on.
The decline is real and massive, and I've noticed it since before I was 30. But I think I became more creative in middle age as I relaxed and became more confident. All the math and formulas are gone, but I've developed a long-term memory of history and how the world works that I did not have as a young man.
I went to full segregation school for retarded kids, where I learned to fight and grew up in a non-English speaking family.
I never had the opportunity to learn math and physics until my 30s and 40s. At age 38, I finally got down to 65 lbs but was fat and ugly for the entirety of my prime.
At 58, I feel better than at 38 but I recognize that it's because I focus on taking care of myself now after decades of neglect. As my dad likes to say, getting old sucks but it beats the alternative.
Also, I get a kick out of people younger than me bitching about getting old.
My friend just lost his grandfather at 95 years of age. Before he died my friend asked if had any advice to pass along from a long life well lived. I present it here in full:
At 75 I cannot dispute the ravages of physical decline, but while I can't perform at previous levels, focused effort does allow you to perform at an age level 10 years younger. My attitude is to not go quietly into the night and while I will eventually succumb as we all do, resistance will provide for a better quality of life in the waning years. The other key is to find something you have never done before and force your mind to learn new things and build new neural synapses. I chose learning French and while I may never really use it, it does keep the cobwebs cleaned out.
It's interesting that great poets usually do their best work when they're very young, but novelists often bloom only around 60 or so. Different requirements.
A good thing about aging is that some weaknesses decline naturally, without effort. Status competition, neuroticism, lust, rage. Age is pleasant and mellow but with a sore knee.
You can reduce the rate of decline by working the body and brain. If you do plenty of exercise and find intellectual challenges - ideally in work, if not if your free time - then the decline is slower. But yes, as you age it gets worse and harder. Recovery, in particular, takes longer and it is easy to forget and over-exert too soon and cause more trouble. But assuming you don't do that you can keep yourself mentally and physically able for decades.
So I’m 40, and what strikes me about aging is just the degree of discipline I’ve developed over the years/decades. This always seems to be a forgotten advantage of getting older: the increasing level of self-control. Learning a new skill might be harder, but picking up a new habit is easier. This is coupled with more regulated moods and accumulated wisdom in planning one’s activity and thinking.
Having kids puts that virtue to the test. As a father, your job is to impose that discipline and self-control over people teeming with energy and turbulence. If you’re too young, you’ll likely crack and run away. But with this honed fortitude pushing back against the chaos, you can get that yin-yang balance of healthy family life.
At 72 years old, I am more fit than I was at 30, and just as sharp cognitively. Of course, when I was 30, I was a slovenly layabout living on coffee cake.
That's the benefit of loafing about earlier in life. Gives you the opportunity to have an incredible comeback in the third act.
Seems like good advice for the youth
This is why holing up young people in Universities until their mid twenties is a travesty. If academia is for you, great, but everyone else should be starting their career at 20.
Or earlier
At 60, I was forty-fifty pounds overweight, got out-of-breath walking upstairs, and spent weeks in a walking boot because of plantar fasciitis - but I could still out-code my younger peers. At 68, I've lost forty pounds, my walking pace is generally under 16 minutes per mile, I biked 160 miles in two days in the Poconos, and I am still able to out-code my younger peers.
Decline is not necessary to such an extent, but you have to take charge of our fitness in ways that you didn't need to when you were much younger.
But can you out-code yourself at 25?
I think so - in that I know more strategies for good code now. Of course, at 25, I was coding in assembly, and counting bytes to make sure everything would fit on a 1K ROM. I haven't had to do that in a long time.
My dad lived to 90. He almost made it to 91. He was an avid reader. He had a sharp mind despite the fact the rest of his body was failing him. One of the last books he read was a book on basic physics. He loved that book. I can hear him now calling my name, “Annette, this book is amazing!” Dad taught me, don’t stop learning, push on.
The decline is real and massive, and I've noticed it since before I was 30. But I think I became more creative in middle age as I relaxed and became more confident. All the math and formulas are gone, but I've developed a long-term memory of history and how the world works that I did not have as a young man.
I'm 45 and I taught myself guitar in my late 30s.
I went to full segregation school for retarded kids, where I learned to fight and grew up in a non-English speaking family.
I never had the opportunity to learn math and physics until my 30s and 40s. At age 38, I finally got down to 65 lbs but was fat and ugly for the entirety of my prime.
What walks on four in the morning, two in midday, and three in the evening?
At 58, I feel better than at 38 but I recognize that it's because I focus on taking care of myself now after decades of neglect. As my dad likes to say, getting old sucks but it beats the alternative.
Also, I get a kick out of people younger than me bitching about getting old.
My friend just lost his grandfather at 95 years of age. Before he died my friend asked if had any advice to pass along from a long life well lived. I present it here in full:
“Getting old sucks. Avoid it if you can.”
Revealed preference: he could have unalived himself any time he wanted, but chose not to.
At 75 I cannot dispute the ravages of physical decline, but while I can't perform at previous levels, focused effort does allow you to perform at an age level 10 years younger. My attitude is to not go quietly into the night and while I will eventually succumb as we all do, resistance will provide for a better quality of life in the waning years. The other key is to find something you have never done before and force your mind to learn new things and build new neural synapses. I chose learning French and while I may never really use it, it does keep the cobwebs cleaned out.
Dick Minnis
removingthecataract.substack.com
It's interesting that great poets usually do their best work when they're very young, but novelists often bloom only around 60 or so. Different requirements.
A good thing about aging is that some weaknesses decline naturally, without effort. Status competition, neuroticism, lust, rage. Age is pleasant and mellow but with a sore knee.
“Now in my forties … Now in the twilight of my youth”
lol, lmao even
Keep telling yourself you're in the twilight of your youth, old man.
Your life expectancy is about 80. 40 was the mid-way point. The middle ages of your life were roughly 30–50.
If we're being generous, we can say it's the middle ages of your adulthood rather than of your life, and say it's 40–60.
Either way, once you're in your 40s you are definitely middle-aged.
You can reduce the rate of decline by working the body and brain. If you do plenty of exercise and find intellectual challenges - ideally in work, if not if your free time - then the decline is slower. But yes, as you age it gets worse and harder. Recovery, in particular, takes longer and it is easy to forget and over-exert too soon and cause more trouble. But assuming you don't do that you can keep yourself mentally and physically able for decades.
You're a bit mistaken. Mathematical ability actually peaks in 40s. There might be reasons other than age for your cognitive 'decline.'
And so, from hour to hour, we ripe and ripe,
And then, from hour to hour, we rot and rot;
And thereby hangs a tale.
-- Shakespeare
I suppose I am about 20 years older than you, and I am impressed. Everything you write here is true, but I myself couldn't have written it in my 40s.